Entry #37 – May 31, 2016

The video card in my desktop computer got fried last week, and I’m still waiting for the replacement to arrive in the mail. This isn’t a metaphor; I know all the jokes about how the people in my generation are all like computers, and from the last entry you can tell that I’m getting rather fried myself. I mean my computer hasn’t worked for several days and it’s incredibly irritating to me. I still have my laptop, but there’s a lot of multimedia files on the other computer that I can’t access, and I can’t play a lot of games on the laptop because it isn’t powerful enough. The stress from the school year is starting to pile on as we get near the end, meaning that I need all the methods to relax that I can get. I can’t talk to many of my online friends as much because we talk while playing games that I can’t play right now. Mark has his job, which makes plans to go over to his place much more difficult. He’s probably also stressed out from the past nine months of this routine. I think that we all are, since meltdowns tend to skyrocket around this time. We had two this past week, whereas we only had a one in the previous three months.

I finished my third and fourth driving lessons. I did better the second time around with the parallel parking, although I’m still a ways away from trying it between real cars instead of traffic cones. The fourth lesson was fine, it mostly re-covered what I did in the first one and I could tell the difference that a couple of weeks makes. I was much more comfortable behind the wheel, not perfectly but enough that I could do most of the getting on the road drill instinctively without thinking about every step. Now it’s up to my parents to help me practice, which may have to wait until after the school year is over so I won’t have another thing to stress out about before it’s over.

At least my family is well. Both parents are home and our schedules are set in stone again, which brings important stability to my life. There haven’t been any fights that distract me from my work and drive my stress levels up even further. I haven’t had a meltdown at home for over two years now, and I’m sure my parents and neighbors would prefer to keep it that way. At least it would be less embarrassing than a meltdown at school, but either way I don’t want to lose control like that ever again anywhere. I just have to keep doing the relaxation techniques they taught us in social skills classes, avoid overstimulation, and try not to get into situations I know could trigger a meltdown. Having a dedicated therapist from the school is a big help. The end of the year is less than a month away, so it I should be able to make it.

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