Entry #40 – June 16, 2016

As you explained in class, this entry should be a reflection on what we learned from doing all the previous entries. Honestly I’m entirely uncertain as to how much I learned because you haven’t graded any of my entries. I don’t know if #1 is better than #39, or if #23 shows improvement from #9, or if the entire second half of the entries show a step back from the first half. I know you said that this was just to have us practice writing, which for me it clearly did. I didn’t think I could write at least five hundred words a week (excepting holidays), but apparently I proved myself wrong.

It was pretty clever of you to not tell us you were going to read any of the entries except the closing one until the end of the year, just making sure they’re all at least five hundred words. It puts the trust in our honesty and need to follow the rules and makes it easier for you to not have to read over 20,000 words per student. You might want to read Paul’s entries though, since he isn’t the same as the rest of us and may have tried to skirt around the guidelines. I’m glad you won’t be reading all of my entries, because looking back there is some personal stuff in there about me and other people that I probably shouldn’t have included in a class assignment. But coming up with five hundred words a week was difficult, though apparently not impossible.

Tomorrow is the last day of the school year. I don’t know what I’ll do this summer; I know I’ll try and practice driving. I may get a job, and I may go on a trip with my father. I still have to see if Mark wants to contact me again, but if so I’ll spend some time with him. I’m just glad the year is over and I can go on a long break from the frustrating school routine and into days where my schedule can reflect more of what I want.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I moved an area, like Paul’s old neighborhood, that does things the way they used to before the scare. I would have to deal with constant requests for small talk, trying to figure out if people were being sincere or not, keeping up with fashion enough to not look like I completely didn’t belong, worrying that my limited eating options will get me ridiculed, socialization based around events with crowds and lots of noise, classes that are entirely lectures, and many other things. Even though I have to deal with some of that here to a certain extent, it’s certainly a lot less.  I may have to go into a similar environment for college or after college, so I may still get an opportunity to see how I’d fare there.  But I’m afraid that this town, for all of its flaws, may be the best place for me.